Write My Answer On A Billboard Large And Clear

~ I'll climb to the lookout tower and scan the horizon.
I'll wait to see what God says ~ Habakkuk 2:1-2

Nov 29, 2009

Irregular People

Life's too short for empty, complicated, and often destructive relationships. Joyce Landorf Heatherley calls these relationships “Irregular”. In her book “Irregular People”, Joyce describes an irregular person as - “that person who is blind, deaf, and mute to your deepest needs, no matter how hard you try to communicate”. With her experiential wisdom, I was awakened and empowered to walk through my own journey to spiritual and emotional healing. It didn’t happen overnight. It took 7 months of not speaking to my mother, before the Holy Spirit downloaded His take on the issue.

Through the Holy Spirit’s nudging and taking me deeper into His understanding, rather than leaning on my own blindness, I was able to see the relationship in a different light. With God’s wisdom in front of me, I was moved to apologize to my mother for wanting or needing her to be someone that she was incapable of being. It was God that helped me understand how she was groomed to be my irregular person – by her own irregular mother. Enlightened - I was compelled to express my heartfelt love for her – just the way she was.

An interesting thing happened…the relationship actually changed. She didn't change - for a long time she was the same. But because I changed my expectations, the way I saw her changed the way I related to her. Gradually the relationship changed for the good. Then, several years later - the last year or so before she died - she ended up sharing with me in a way that brought us closer than I had ever hoped for. But because it was so long in the making, her death presented much sorrow and grieving. I finally had the mother that I always needed, and then she was gone. I still cry at times, even 7 years after her home going, when I want to share moments of my life with her. Because we were separated in death, those lost years will never be recovered until heaven.

We've all had a hidden drawer…that was or is just impossible for us to open, so we compartmentalize it - from the person we've become. We think that it is we holding it hostage to our will – keeping it hidden so deep, that it can no longer unleash the pain and suffering it represents. If we're lucky, something will force us to open the drawer and face what we've successfully hidden away. And if we believe in the person we have become, not in spite of, but because of those painful memories, we can look at them from a different perspective - because we are no longer that person - in that situation - at that difficult time.

Life has given us a new set of eyes…and our heart knowledge has grown big enough to allow forgiveness to reign in our spirit. We courageously open the drawer, and the emergence of light on the subject chases away the fear – the pain – the haunting memories. With the emergent light, we are lifted to a higher place where the air around us is much lighter and we are empowered to breathe in the wholeness of life. The darkness of the drawer no longer has a hold over us. We have chosen to bring it into the light.

Light belongs in darkens.
Light dispels the darkness.
Light sets us free.
Light encourages us to fly.

May the Light of God’s illuminating love … invade any hidden drawers that hold you hostage. May His light dispel the darkness of what lies beneath. May I encourage you to walk across the bridge of forgiveness and reconciliation - before the opportunity fades. Joyce helped me understand the nature of my irregular person – why she behaved in that maddening way – which allowed the Holy Spirit to mold me and move me into a higher realm of understanding – an understanding that was hidden from me – because of my own blindness.

Joyce admits that some relationships are simply toxic. Still….don't let them live rent free in your head. Don't let darkness reign - even for a moment – in you. Those that love you – those that follow you – those that are seeking to know the Lord – need all the light that radiates from you. The Glory of God is visible in us when we choose to let His light fully and completely shine through the darkness of our soul – to a brighter way. Seek restoration in all your relationships and watch the darkness fade. Open the windows, the doors, and any hidden drawers. Breathe deep. Breathe in the wholeness of God and let Him teach you to fly!

Shine Jesus Shine...

Mama standing in the middle of a wheat field some years before her home-going. The field is now being farmed by someone else. It used to be her daddy's farm in western Kansas, where she was born and raised.

Patrina <")>><
warrior bride in boots


  1. This has spoken to me. I need to open some drawers in my life; i also need to make that phone call to my father.
    Thanx for sharing and for the encouraging words on my blog. God Bless

  2. Thanks for connecting, Tricia. I will be praying for the empowerment to let His light empty those drawers of darkness; that those drawers open easier than you've imagined; that healing replaces the bondage that those closed drawers represent in your life.

    Thanks for being a pencil in the hand of God - thanks for connecting - you were used by God today, to also speak to me.

  3. YOU ARE AWESOME!!! Thanks for signing up to "Follow/Lead/Share" at my horsey blog! I am so glad to find you...very uplifting to read your header even...very cute!

    This sounds so familar...I could have written it about my dad and how God showed me how to become a new creation by forgiving without strings. My dad became someone new for me and I got to have my longed for relationship with him! I had not even accepted Jesus yet..but in faith asked God to forgive me and help me to forgive him...floods of peace rolled over me in a refreshing wash of light and understanding for a different way of living.
    Thanks for sharing your beautiful heart here...Eternal love to you, from me!

  4. Kacy,
    Thanks for your kind comments. Yes your story sounds and feels familiar. I imagine it's more common than most want to admitt. And to think that God showed you the need to forgive - without yet being His diciple - is amaging. That's exactly how He works. Blessings on you for what Christ has done for and inside of you. His Glory is seen in you. It is apparent in the glow across you face and trickles all the way throughout your blog.

    Again, thank you for being a pencil in the hand of God today, and for meeting me on the bridge.

    The journey begins! :)

  5. I clicked on the link forgiveness in your archived posts to find this one...what a HUGE topic forgiveness is! How WONDERFUL that our GREAT GOD is much greater than anything hidden in us is!! What a blessing that the LORD healed your relationship with your Mom before she went home to glory! How precious that is. Thanks for sharing your heart here...it is a beautiful thing to be foregiven and estend forgiveness.


  6. Camille, thanks so much fro visiting me on the bridge. I'm excited that you chose to read an archived post that means so much to me...it goes so well as a background for my current post. Makes the healing even more significant... both this post and the current one are prime examples of God's intervwention in our lives if we silligently seek Him.

    Thanks so much for picking up the pencil to let me know that you were here. I look forward dto seeing you again.

    God bless you and your family

    Patrina <")>><
    His watchman on the wall

  7. So helpful, well written, encouraging, and motivating. Thank you! - Rosemarie Clair

  8. Dear Rosemarie,

    What a blessing to me - to know that more than 2 years later, my written experience can be heard and used to bless someone else.

    This is my heart's cry - to be used by God to help another.

    Pain is pain.. no matter how you color it. Unforgiveness causes great pain.It closes a door to relationship.

    Thank you so much for not only visiting but for taking the time to leave your footprint. It blessed me so much. God used you to instantly encourage 'little ole me'...

    blessings to you and yours, Rosemarie

    Patrina <")>><


Thanks for picking up the pencil...

May the grace
of the Lord Jesus Christ,
and the love of God,
and the fellowship
of the Holy Spirit ...
be with you all.

His Warrior Bride in Boots

"HEAR The Word of The Lord"

Prayer Changes Things

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” ..... Romans 12:12





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Elohim: The All-Powerful Creator

Jehovah: The Self-Revealing One

Adonai: The Owner of All

Jehovah-Jireh: The Lord Who Provides

El Shaddai: The Almighty Sufficient One

El Elion: The Most High Ruler

Jehovah Nissi: The Lord’s Banner of Victory

Jehovah Shalom: The Lord Our Peace

Jehovah Mekadesh: The Lord Who Sanctifies

Jehovah Rophe: The Lord Who Heals

Jehovah Tsikenu: The Lord My Righteousness

Jehovah Robi: The Lord My Shepherd

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