It’s been 5 LONG weeks since Dad came home from rehab. It has been difficult. My mind, body, and spirit have been at war. I’ve wanted to give up at least once – every single week.
BUT I CHOOSE TO PRAISE JESUS !
I haven’t updated here because I wanted to keep it positive. I felt as if my gift of FAITH & ENCOURAGEMENT was being ripped right out of me. I found myself encouraging me – as Dad adamantly REFUSED encouragement from anyone.
In the previous post, I spoke of my mind and heart coming together with God’s vantage point. His turn around anointing. My physical and mental weakness, from the previous 11 months as a 24/7 care giver to Dad, couldn’t fathom any possibility of continuing on. Caring for an ‘invalid’ was beyond my scope of capabilities.
As Betty Davis used to say, “Getting old ain’t for sissies.” I would add – neither is 24/7 care giving. I’m in the boat with both. 'I'm too old for this', I cried. My boat was already sinking – before Dad had this debilitating stroke.
He has me here for a PURPOSE! It doesn’t feel like purpose most of the time. It feels much like prison; being held hostage; torture; mind games; something or someone else seems to be warring for control.
Not knowing what to expect – I find myself reluctant to face the ‘NEW DAY’. Empowering myself in the Lord – I find myself talking out loud to God...and Dad - Speaking TRUTH against the LIES and DECEPTION that are working overtime to claim my ‘preacher’ daddy’s body, mind, and spirit.
It’s apparent that in Dad’s mind - he came home to die.
Relentlessly …. Dad filled the atmosphere – with WORD CURSES against his body. Negative proclamations; pitiful mind traps; land minds at ever turn.
“I JUST WANT TO DIE”
This preoccupation – obsession really – was hanging over my days. The very air I breathed was laden with His obsession with DEATH.
NOTHING I or the therapists said or did changed his ‘stinkin thinkin’
He was angry at his circumstance
He was acting out his anger
He was willfully stubborn
He was experiencing a ‘CRISIS of FAITH’
His Spirit, held hostage to the LIE of DEFEAT
He was an embodiment of DECEPTION
EMBODIED - Wikipedia states – “a position in cognitive science and the philosophy of mind emphasizing the role that the body plays in shaping the mind.” Answers.com states it this way: To give a bodily form to; incarnate. To represent in bodily or material form. To make part of a system or whole; incorporate
I was staring DECEPTION right in the face!
Call it what you will. Medical science called it a stroke. Answers.com describes a stroke as the sudden death of brain cells in a localized area due to inadequate blood flow. It goes on to say that a stroke occurs when blood flow is interrupted to part of the brain. Without blood to supply oxygen and nutrients and to remove waste products, brain cells quickly begin to die. Depending on the region of the brain affected, a stroke may cause paralysis, speech impairment, loss of memory and reasoning ability, coma, or death.
Dad was affected by all except coma, and death!
NOTHING is as it seems in the physical. Through the EYES of God, EVERYTHING is hugely different than our mere existence can fathom.
HOPE deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12
“Now FAITH is being sure of what we HOPE for and certain of what we do not see.” Heb 11:1 (NIV)
“FAITH is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” (NLV)
“Now FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation,]the title deed) of the things [we] HOPE for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses].” (Amplified)
It can be written many different ways – but the meaning is clear. FAITH and HOPE go together. I love the way the Message puts it:
The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this FAITH, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd.”
These last two months, have been a trying experience for me. I am famished from the inside out. SPENT!
Comes and bathes me in His LIGHT and His LOVE. He continues to pour into me TRUTH. In Him, I have a fortress beyond belief! I am barricaded behind this fortress as if I am the only one fighting this war. But My God is on both sides of this wall.
I KNOW that He GOES BEFORE me and He PROTECTS me from BEHIND.
And if that isn’t cool enough, He’s also right BESIDE me and INSIDE of me – fighting this war for me – a war that I do not fully understand, but recognize as a war against the Satanic principality of DECEPTION.
I therefore raise my SWORD towards the highest Heaven, to the ONE who fights this fight for me and through me. I lift my SHIELD of FAITH as my instrument of PROTECTION – for a TURN AROUND ANOINTING – against the fiery arrows that are aimed at me and mine. I GIRD myself with the belt of TRUTH, that I might not be deceived nor grow faint. My head is covered with the Helmet of SALVATION that my mind be fully PROTECTED – STEADFAST – FOCUSED on the PRIZE of VICTORY which is in Christ JESUS. As I walk in His shoes of PEACE – I am ASSURED of HIS intended outcome –
TO GOD BE THE GLORY...Great things He hath done!
NOTHING is impossible with GOD!
My God shall supply ALL of my Needs according to His riches in Glory, through Christ Jesus.
I am the DAUGHTER of the MOST HIGH KING!
Dear Lord and Savior, I dedicate this blog to my children and grandchildren and those yet unborn. It is my heart’s desire, Lord, to reach for the heavens during my years left on this earth – that my ceiling might become the floor that they dance upon – that they might know the sure foundation of which I stand, and walk in the LIGHT of JESUS as I have sought. May this legacy of FAITH serve them in years to come. May they be encouraged to FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT. May those that come behind me find me FAITHFUL. In the name of Jesus Christ..…Amen….let it be so!
I was thinking how exhausting it must feel to have to battle word curses and negative proclamations every day.ReplyDelete
But the more I read your post, the more I realized, we all are called to spiritual battle for our loved one's and ourselves! And as you rest in Christ, your spirit is renewed and your weakness is made strong. Only in Jesus can you again raise your Sword and lift up your eyes to the heavens and proclaim that you are in Christ and He is in you and no power above or below is greater than the Power of God within you.
You have the authority to snatch those who are perishing from the very fires of hell (Jude 1:23).
So, warrior-princess of the Most High God - battle on! Fight the good fight for your Dad and your children and grandchildren and those you have yet to know. For God is with you -- who can be against you?
Hugs and prayers for you!
Yeah! WE CHOOSE TO PRAISE GOD!ReplyDelete
You know what? Whenever I am down, I PRAISE GOD... cos that is the cheapest and easiest way to encourage myself!
Keep speaking the WORD! Positive affirmations will sure go a long way!
It is well with you! It is well with your Dad! It is well with your family! Stay blessed!
"You have the authority to snatch those who are perishing from the very fires of hell (Jude 1:23).
So, warrior-princess of the Most High God - battle on! Fight the good fight for your Dad and your children and grandchildren and those you have yet to know. For God is with you -- who can be against you?"
WOW!!! what a mouthful! You go girl! I was so empowered by your words. Especially the Jude scripture. I had forgotten that! POWERFUL!!!!
I smiled with the "warrior-princess of the Most High God - battle on!" That sounded so cool to me! Thanks for the powerful encouragement. I have missed you! thanks for picking up the pencil to encourage me.
"It is well with you! It is well with your Dad! It is well with your family!"
I appreciate this positive statement! I receive it - in Jesus Name.
Keep praising Jesus!! my friend. thanks for picking up the pencil to encourage me here on the bridge.
Greetings dear sister, I hear your heart in your post and I can say thank you for this today. I always try to be encouraging to others and have an attitude of gratitude-then I get news from the doctor and the enemy strikes my mind with fear. Thanks for sharing this day! For this we have Jesus.ReplyDelete
Hugs to you.
"In our weaknesses, He has perfected His strength."ReplyDelete
My prayer for you is that in this time, God's strength will replace yours and you will not know where His strength ends and yours begin. He will empower you with the ability to persevere and walk on water, having faith in the fact that He's called you to care for your dad. Thanks for being a vessel of honor.
We will always battle FEAR. That has been one of Dad's biggest feats right now too. And mine too, I must admit. It doesn't look or feel very good does it?
Jesus has been my strong tower! I run to Him all day long. He is always right here in the midst of all of this. I could not do it without Him.
Hold tight to your FAITH. FAITH chasing FEAR away!
Thanks for picking up the pencil today.
hugs, Patrina <")>><
Thank you for your faith filled prayer. It's so special how He just comes and lift s me up - when I feel the lowest. He is my strong tower indeed. I appreciate the fact that you took the time to pick up the pencil to prayerfully encourage me tonight. Thank you.
God bless you
There is indeed power in praise - and God assures us that He will NEVER forsake us.ReplyDelete
Your blog is awesome - my first time here; I wonder how I haven't seen this before... Anyway all the best and I hope your dad keeps strong. God Bless xxx
Good morning Fran.ReplyDelete
If you've never been here, I guess I've never met you :) WELCOME to the bridge. YES! Praise Praise Praise is my life style. I even have the Physical therapist saying exactly as I say "AMEN! Praise the Lord" ..to the slightest improvement in dad. She even said last week "It's a miracle, really". Dad and I don't know if she's a christian or not. Sopmetimes they tell you they are... sometimes you can almost tell by the things they say. But one NEVER really knows unless one professes such. Even then one still may never know.
Therefore, I CHOOSE to be a walking witness to the best of my ability in Him.
I've been telling dad that it isn't his story...it isn't all about him. This is God's opportunity for him (dad) to participate in a testament to HIM and His Glory! It's His testimony in you. Therefore, what we do with this opportunity - may save a life!
Thanks for visiting the bridge and picking up the pencil to write your kind words. Hope to see you back here soon.
My soul magnifies thy Lord,ReplyDelete
My heart glorifies thee name,
For the race is not for the strong
None for the swift,
But WHOM thy LORD gives the strength & grace to WIN.
It's not by your power my dear Patrina...cast all your worries & burden unto him & live just a day at a time & only pray for THE WILL OF GOD TO BE DONE...NOT YOUR WILL OR DAD'S...BUT THAT OF OUR HEAVENLY FATHER..((((hugs)))). it shall be well with your body, soul & spirit. Amen..shalom.
My spiritual buddy and friend,
You have blessed me tonight with your words. I sat in my room and cried as I spoke them out loud. God's Holy Spirit speaks through you. God's will indeed. Always. Not dad's not mine but God's
"it shall be well....." I love that! Dee said the same thing! I receive it! Yes, it shall be well.
thanks for picking up the pencil to encourage me.
Hugs right back to you
I know this battle of death from fighting for my husband's life 4 years ago.
God will bring reprieve! Keep choosing to Praise Him and keep those scriptures pouring into your heart and mind even when you don't feel like it!
BUT GOD... are two of the greatest Words the universe! Hold on and hold fast to the Hand that holds the pencil!
I just got back --- and will be in touch.
Choosing JOY and PRAISE,
I had a few free minutes and was just checking in to visit you today.ReplyDelete
Praying that you're still praising - you Warrior-Princess you. **wink**
I'm counting on the reprieve. It will come..in His perfect time. Thanks for picking up the pencil to encourage me tonight.
Ps... my word verification is 'anoings' ...for my 'turn around anointing'!!! I have a BIG Smile on my face right now. :) Anoint me, LORD. Gird up my legs that I might stand in your Holy place for me. I surrender all to you, oh Lord. Have thine own way, Lord...thou art the potter - I am the clay - mold me and make me - after thy will - while I am waiting yielded and still!
This Warrior-Princess is still praising God - even through the tears. It's been a difficult day. the enemy has pounded against my fragile drum - but I know whom my redeemer is! He lives within my heart. I have found, as Jaycee prayed here on the bridge - that even in my weakness - He comes and fills me with a supernatural strength that carries me into the next step. I don't know if it's me or HIM anymore. I just know it's empowering me to move forward. This too shall pass!
Thank you sweet friend for your return visit and for picking up the pencil once again to let me know you are praying for me. I am most grateful! God be ever near to you and yours - Patrina <")>><
What a story. I want to thank you for the words you left at my last post and want to affirm the power of truth - knowing things as they really are. At least, as much as we can know.ReplyDelete
What you are doing takes great courage. The kind it takes to face the everyday, painfully hard while tediously boring, frustrating, fearful and maddening. I don't know where we can get that except from the Place you are digging.
May God continue to richly bless you
Patrina, I love this post. I for one thinks God brings things into our lives, indeed to teach us Faith, love, show us the truth like you have rightly shown.ReplyDelete
You said, "But God… He has me here for a PURPOSE! It doesn’t feel like purpose most of the time. It feels much like prison"
Whenever we try to analyze situations by our bare minds, that's what we get. The devil deceptively shows us the prison instead of the way to the palace. He shows us fear instead of faith; frustration instead of a desire to love... Remember, "His ways are not our... and as far as the heavens is from the earth; so is are His ways to ours."
God will continue to give you the grace - sufficient grace, Patrina.
You are blessed and a blessing.
Here's the scripture that God gave me for you as you seek His direction:
The Message [A Paraphrase]
1 I bless God every chance I get; my lungs expand with his praise.
2 I live and breathe God;
if things aren't going well, hear this and be happy:
3 Join me in spreading the news;
together let's get the word out.
4 God met me more than halfway,
he freed me from my anxious fears.
5 Look at him; give him your warmest smile.
Never hide your feelings from him.
6 When I was desperate, I called out,
and God got me out of a tight spot.
7 God's angel sets up a circle
of protection around us while we pray.
8 Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see—
how good God is.
Blessed are you who run to him.
9 Worship God if you want the best;
worship opens doors to all his goodness.
10 Young lions on the prowl get hungry,
but God-seekers are full of God.
11 Come, children, listen closely;
I'll give you a lesson in God worship.
12 Who out there has a lust for life?
Can't wait each day to come upon beauty?
13 Guard your tongue from profanity,
and no more lying through your teeth.
14 Turn your back on sin; do something good.
Embrace peace—don't let it get away!
15 God keeps an eye on his friends,
his ears pick up every moan and groan.
16 God won't put up with rebels;
he'll cull them from the pack.
17 Is anyone crying for help? God is listening,
ready to rescue you.
18 If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;
if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath.
19 Disciples so often get into trouble;
still, God is there every time.
20 He's your bodyguard, shielding every bone;
not even a finger gets broken.
21 The wicked commit slow suicide;
they waste their lives hating the good.
22 God pays for each slave's freedom;
no one who runs to him loses out.
I know He wants to speak through it to your heart of hearts!
Choosing JOY, Stephanie
I understand you heart as you shared it so openly on this post, and on your blog.ReplyDelete
Your heart stirs many, including me of course, to keep holding on to God and to not easily believe the labels that the kingdom of darkness try to attach to us and to those we love.
I admire your faith and tenacity. It encourages me.
Your blog is a faith place where I leave refreshed and inspired each time I visit.
I love what you said that you want your ceiling to be the floor on which your future generations will dance upon. I just love that... it resonates in my spirit!
Thank you for stopping by my site. You are going through a lot but your heart and mind is in the right place! He will give you the strenght and you will be honored for caring for your father as your are. Don't shy away from available resources in your community. I always give this verse for comfort.... "Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between His shoulders."~Deut 33:12ReplyDelete
I can tell that you know the road I'm traveling. I so appreciate your kind validation and encouragement. It does take courage and lots of tenacity and strength. And to greet the new day knowing that it will be full of the same - takes a lot of will power to just get out of bed.
I appreciate you taking the time to visit me on the bridge. For picking up the pencil to write to my heart from yours.
God bless you sweet soul. You have blessed me this day.
Awwwww, I have missed your smiling face on the bridge. And your awesome heart tenderings from a well watered spirit.
"Whenever we try to analyze situations by our bare minds, that's what we get. The devil deceptively shows us the prison instead of the way to the palace. He shows us fear instead of faith; frustration instead of a desire to love... Remember, "His ways are not our... and as far as the heavens is from the earth; so is are His ways to ours."
These words spoke right into my fleshy situation! You are absolutely correct. I loved the way you said that the enemy deceptively shows us the prison rather than the WAY to the Palace. WOW!!! Food for thot there, my friend. Thanks for sharing - for picking up the pencil to encourage me in this situation. His grace is all sufficient - isn't it?
Hugs, my friend
I am most grateful for this passage of scripture - especially from the Message. It so spoke to my heart. My spirit soaked it up - I am drenches with His over whelming love and grace and strength and am standing on His promises today. I plan to read this at the beginning of each 'new day'. Such a powerful reminder.
I AM NOT ALONE! THE LORD IS RIGHT HERE WITH ME AND THE BATTLE HAS ALWAYS BEEN HIS!
I run to him - He is my high tower. He shelters me and renews my mind when it wavers and is tossed to and fro. He settles me and plants me - grounded in His Promise to never ever forsake me!
HE IS MINE AND I AM HIS for ETERNITY!
Thanks for picking up the pencil again - to open up the window of God's WORD in my circumstance.
Hugs, to you, my friend
Dear Lidj (Beautiful Light)ReplyDelete
Thank you for bringing your LIGHT tot he bridge - for picking up the pencil to scribe such kind words. I was so overjoyed to see your face - to read your comment. You are so kind - a beautiful picture of God's LIGHT to a desperately needy world. You have greatly ENCOURAGED me! Thank you.
I heard the idea of- my ceiling being the floor that my children and grandchildren dance up - from Bill Johnson at a healing conference in Colorado Springs in 07. It made a lasting imprint on my life! I saw it in much the same way then as you saw it here. I'm glad that it spoke to you!!
God bless you, dear soul. May you experience God in a fresh way in Manila.
Hugs, Patrina <")>><
Welcome to the bridge. I just have to tell you that the following scripture that you left for me was like liquid peace covering my body. ...
"Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between His shoulders."~Deut 33:12
I sat back in my chair and just let it roll over me and give me rest. I envisioned me being carried by Jesus - piggy back style- as I often did with my own my children. My arms were about His neck - my legs girded around His waist. My head against His shoulder and the weight just lifted off of me! I seriously am going to remember this. It was like an infusion of PEACEFUL REST - totally free of the burden! Amen!
Pamela, thank you for speaking God's word to me today! I receive it! Thank you!
Hugs for a blessed day with HIm!
First, thank you for your always relevant comments on my page. You and your pen bless me every time!
Second... this post is such a testimony to God alive in you! You are in the midst of one of those times that just pull us to the outer limits of our heart and soul... right to the place where Jesus lives and is in control. Somehow these times in our lives are never just for a day or 2, or even a month or 2... they seem to endure forever. BUT GOD!!!.. and that is the testimony of your heart right now in the midst of this time.
My prayers for you are renewed and will continue my friend... I have been on this path, and it is a real intentional will of the heart and mind to abide and trust. Thank you for doing both...
My love and prayers, to you & dad.
Choosing to praise HIM!ReplyDelete
Blessings and prayers,
Human existence which causes great exhaustion...God will be glorified as He turns it around by His redeeming power, lavishing His refreshing restoration which delivers us from the pit.ReplyDelete
You have a beautiful heart that expresses your longing after God. Worship and praising our God is gracing you to rise above human existence of lack and tiredness.
Thank you for sharing...I so love your prayer to our Continually Awesome God! Wow!
Thank you for stopping by Patrina.
You are loved!
You always bring a smile that lightens my heart - when you visit me on the bridge.
Thank you for your kind words and for understanding my heart here. You have been so supportive. Thank you.
Hugs back to you, my friend
Welcome to the bridge. I appreciate your visit and your prayers. Thank you.
Welcome to the bridge, and blessings be upon you us we walk this path together. It was nice to connect with you at your place today as well. Thanks for the follow here and I hope to see you again soon. I appreciate you picking up the pencil to scribe such kind words. Proclamations really. I receive them. Thank you for your encouragement this day!
"Worship and praising our God is gracing you to rise above human existence of lack and tiredness."
Yes! Yes! Amen! Thank you for your choice words.
You have a great inspiring blog full of bible inspirations, thanks for stopping by and sharing. I appreciate it.ReplyDelete
Thanks for your kind comments - and thanks for picking up the pencil to let me know that you connected on the bridge. I appreciate your visit as well.
I was so deeply touched by your post. I felt your weariness emotionally and physically. It is truly difficult yet a blessing at the same time to be a caregiver. I did so with my mom for a year. I got so weary and tired but in the same breath I was blessed by so many moments alone with her. Despite the weariness, the Lord held me up and carried me many times and I continued to love, praise, honor, glorify and thank Him every step of the way.
You are a faithful one. You are strong in your love, belief, trust and hope in Him and you stand steadfast and upright in His Word. You are doing well in His eyes my sweet sister...I feel that ever so strongly.
I wanted to say that I love you and my mind, heart, prayers and arms are wrapped tightly around you and your dad.
Peace to you my friend,
i am in awe of you. are you familiar
with "a haven for vee?" she has been
in a similar situation with her 100
year old grandmother for more than
i feel sure you two would completely
understand each other.
What a battle you are in....and I guess we all have our own...but I pray for you as you stand in this battle in all spiritual realms...and would ask you to stand with me in my own battle. I pray for God to give you physical strength and peace of mind each and every day..."The Joy of the Lord" is our strength and as you said the Sword is our offensive weapon.ReplyDelete
I love the "BUT GOD"....my friend Sue at Who I am Instead just did a great post on that very subject.
Keep the faith..I am praying for you!
YES!!! You are a daughter of the King! Nothing can be lacking in that position. He has strengthened you. Everything you need has already been given to you in the spirit realm and that which needs to take place in the natural shall as well according to His perfect will and timing.ReplyDelete
I know you are tired physically and mentally but your spirit is strong. I remember when my mother took care of my dad during his battle with Alzheimer's. There were purposes that God was accomplishing through those years in all of us that I was only able to see clearly after that season was over. In the end, pain was gain and we all became more like Him. What a privilege indeed. Count it all joy.
Praying for you dear one. You are more than a conqueror through Christ. This I know you know.
Thank you for your kind steadfast encouragement. That is your trademark - ya know! You are a strong encourager. I appreciate knowing that you know what it's like to be in my circumstance. I feel so alone in this...But God!!
You too and your beloved Ron, are never far from my thots and prayers as well!
God bless you, dear soul. and thank you for picking up the pencil to encourage me tonight!
Thank you dear one, I did go to Vee's site and hopefully I will find out more about her situation there. I appreciate your visit on the bridge today and for the kind suggestion. I need like-minded people who knows what it looks and feels like to be in this position.
God bless you dear for picking up the pencil and taking the time to leave me that suggestion.
Thank you for your prayers for me and my dad - for taking the time to encourage me in the midst of your own circumstance. Life seems to have a heavy grip on us right now. But stand steadfast in your faith, dear sister. It's the biggest weapon we have here. God does not send us these afflictions but He definitely knows how to walk us through them to the other side.
My family has a history of depression too. Dad is depressed right now. it is a horrible state of being. I feel depressed much of the time in this situation. But God!! What would we do without GOD to hold tight to.
I did go to Sue's post... that was very good - thank you for sharing that. There will be an upside to all of this too - I'm certain. I look forward to that day. There is indeed purpose in our struggles.
Hang in there - We have so many things to be thankful for. I pray that you find the Peace and rest that your body needs to get back on track!!!
God bless you for your faith. Keep standing!
Your strong encouragement is received! I appreciate you picking up the pencil to share the up-side of these horrible afflictions on the body mind and soul. It is comforting to know that others have gone before me in similar situations. I don't feel so alone in my weakness.
You are correct... I am more than a conqueror! My faith and my relationship with the lord will not wavier! No one or no circumstance can weaken my relationship with Him. I'm settled in that! I do struggle with knowing when enough is enough though. My flesh is weak. When I focus on more than TODAY, I am overwhelmed.
The key here is to TRUST in the Lord with ALL my heart, MIND and SOUL! ...and not rely on my own understanding! Because I would sure mess it up if I went with MY understanding of this situation. It must be God's fine tuned TIMING! ... and nothing less - to see the VICTORY in this situation.
As always, thanks for your kind encouragement and your steadfast prayers.
I could have sworn that I left a commet here..... but seeing as how I do not swear I will leave one now...ReplyDelete
Thanks for stopping by my blog and I do appreciate the kind words and it is nice to meet you......
I so understand where you are and I pray that the Father God will give you added strength. I take care of my mom 24/7 and she is an angry unhappy woman and has been all her life. She is very much a narcissist and she is the center of her universe and always has been. Bless her heart, she never had a chance with some of the things that happened in her life. However we all have choices as to how we react to those things.
I will come back often and visit. I am trying to get back in the blog and reconnect with some of my friends..
Have a blessed weekend and always remember that the Joy of the Lord is our strength.
Thanks for visiting the bridge and picking up the pencil to encourage me. I know you understand. I will be praying for you. I pray God's strength for you as well. You are His honored vessel to accept responsibility for mom's care. God bless you, dear one.