Write My Answer On A Billboard Large And Clear

~ I'll climb to the lookout tower and scan the horizon.
I'll wait to see what God says ~ Habakkuk 2:1-2
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Aug 26, 2012

What Do You Hold In Your Hand.... That The Lord Wants To Release?

photo by patrina's pencil 2012













My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?

Psalm 42:2 NIV




photo by patrina's pencil 2012














 Zephaniah 3:14-17

14) Sing, O Daughter of Zion;

shout aloud, O Israel!  Be glad and rejoice with all your heart, O Daughter of Jerusalem!

15) The Lord has taken away your punishment,he has turned back your enemy. The Lord, the King of Israel, is with you; never again will you fear any harm.

16) On that day they will say to Jerusalem, “Do not fear, O Zion; do not let your hands hang limp.

17) The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”  NIV


Today, sorrow envelops me. I am HELD.

Sitting in this specific place that the Lord has provided for me for this season - with gray hairs crowning my head, I cup my face in my hands, and speak ever so affectionately...


I Love you Mama!

I Love You Mama!

Tears, carving tiny streams down my face, saturate these hands....and I am washed ... again, in the sorrow of missing her.

BUT GOD... 


Instantly, I am visited by the One who holds my future just as tenderly as He holds my past. He gently embodies my heart and takes me to the ICU at Wesley Medical Center in Wichita KS. - where ten years ago, mama lay in rendered silence - mute from a sudden neurological coma.

In this room, the Lord miraculously ministered to our independent souls. We became as God intended - Mother and Daughter - bound by a love that He formed in me before I was ever an egg in my mother's womb!

Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16


I had just read to her - in the silence of her ICU room - the children's book - "The Kissing Hand" by Audrey Penn - A book introduced to me by grandson. He was just a little tike then, but the message I received from him was Huge!


"Never fear, I will always love you grandma"

As I prepared to impart this same message given me ... To my now silent mama, to impart the KISS of LOVE into the palm of her hand ... that I might imprint upon her cheek and within her heart - that eternal message ....


I love you mama!
Never fear, I will always love you.


And as the Lord held us there ... in space and time...

... in silence and slow motion, as I stood all starry-eyed beside her bed - mama, in a totally 'out of character' moment, began to pull her left hand out from beneath the covers - eyes still closed to the coma and illness that had suddenly came upon her a week earlier.

Her previous unresponsive body was responding to...

MY HEART'S DESIRE ...

to BLESS HER...

WITH MY LOVE


A Healing Stream began to flood my body. From head to heart - I was being washed with an undefined, indescribable LOVE.... as I witnessed mama struggling to render her own weakened hand in response to my proposed gift. From her silent prison walls, she responded to my heart's desire... with her heart's desire.

Source

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This miraculous encounter - still, 10 years later, chokes my breath away with relentless whole body sobbing! May I never take for granted - the undeniable POWER source of the HOLY SPIRIT  - that shored up and supported my mama's heart - and hand - in that decisive moment!


And then....

Cupping her hand in both of mine, I bowed my cheek to her fragile palm and just rested it there ... in the peace of that moment.

With tears filling and running over her stretched out hand, I planted my heart-filled kiss in the middle of the puddle - and gently guided the kiss-laced hand towards her cheek ...

I pressed it and held it there.

Source





 










Never fear, mama ... I will always love you.
Do not be afraid, you are never alone.

Whenever you feel fearful or lonely,
just press my kiss against your cheek and remember ...
I love you mama,
I will always love you.


It was to be the last time that I spoke with her alive....
the last time that I touched her.
The last time I would speak 'I Love You' over her earthly presence.

Had I known ...
I would have stayed right there forever ...
Until the Lord ushered her home 2 weeks later. 

"Will the sorrow of our lost relationship ever go away?"
 I ask the Lord today. 

He encourages as He reminds me that SOMEDAY....

I'll turn and see her safely into the arms of Jesus, where she now reigns. That in itself is enough to transform my sorrow into JOY! But today, this sorrow has found a resting place in my soul. And I feel the need to hold it there. My eyes and ears and heart are open to what ever the Lord wants to show me in this state of sorrow.

And then ... 

With opened heart and hands - He comes and anoints me with spiritual eyesight. I am blessed to see .... that I'm finally free of this previously undefined emotional 'trauma' and debris that cluttered my relationship with mama ....all those years. I was never certain of Mama's love until that given HOLY SPIRIT moment in ICU - that miraculous moment when the Lord parted the waters and imparted to the both of us ... 

Source

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE BLESSING OF THE KISSING HAND


And ...typical of the Lord Jesus' relationship with me..... just as I prepare to bring this posting to a close, a chorus of sparrows ignite the air waves with their song. It is as if all Heaven is uniting with earth at this very moment! A huge crowd of witnesses rejoicing right outside my open front door. Their song is so mighty and melodious.

I strain to detect my mama's high soprano ...

I'm very aware of the tangible presence of God's
Heavenly family...
in my earthly plum tree.

My heart rejoices to hear mama ...
rejoicing over me with singing.

Thank you Lord for bringing Heaven to my front door... to sing over me with rejoicing! I am rejoicing with mama that she is safely home. Thank you too, Lord Jesus for showing your powerful healing presence in that ICU room when mama and I exchanged our LOVE.

butterflies Pictures, Images and Photos

Blessed be the name of the Lord. His mercies endure forever!

And so I ask you ....
What are YOU holding in your hand ...
What does the Lord, the One who tenderly holds your future as well as your past, want to release into the heart of another?
What are you waiting for? 
Release it!


The Lord wants to bless you, as you reach out your hand to someone in need.  Did you know... that in Christ Jesus, what you hold in your hand can become a 'lifesaver' to another who is drowning? Everybody holds something that someone else needs. God puts it in our hands...not to selfishly hold onto...but to give it away! 

Open your heart ...
and your hand will automatically unfold.


Trust the Lord of the Universe...
with what you hold in your hand.


Name it?

What have you been holding onto...
in that tightly closed fist of yours?

The unspoken heart renderings

of a past hurt or grudge?

In the spirit of Healing ...
Release the gift of forgiveness and walk in LOVE.

A disagreement

that has wedged between two souls?

In the spirit of Harmony ... 
Release the gift of safe relationship and walk in LOVE.

Has your heart and soul

experienced deep Betrayal ?

In the spirit of Forbearance ... 
Release the gift of forgiveness and walk in LOVE.

Maybe you've been victimized,

taken advantage of? 

In the spirit of healing... 
Release the gift of forgiveness and walk in LOVE.

What is the Lord specifically asking of you? 
Don't delay! 
Do it today! 
There is overwhelming power
in the spirit of LOVE and FORGIVENESS.

God offers His hand ... His Healing Holy Kiss to YOU today.

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. Isaiah 42:16 NIV


The One who holds the whole universe in the palm of His hand loved us enough to give His Life as a ransom for all our wrong doings and meanderings - and declares us spotless - white as snow - FREE. He will bless you, as you become that undeserved Blessing to another soul just like me... just like you.

Do it today!

Healing abounds to those with open hearts and hands. So open your heart and unfold your hand. Let the Lord cover you with His healing touch today. 

Run to Him.... 
You won't regret it! 
He will rejoice over you with singing. 

The Lord your God is with you,he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17


On a side note: 

It wasn't until 3 years after Mama's home-going, that I recounted this 'blessing of the kissing hand' story to my sister, who was with mama in my absence. Upon hearing the story, she shared something that held no meaning for her then. She recalled how mama, even in her rendered silence and neurological coma.... Often raised her hand to her face and just held it there.

Hearing this ... brought that same Healing Stream as before. Floods of healing waters covered me and HELD me with a powerful force that created musical heart renderings ...in that space and time.

My soul rejoices with Heaven

On Her death bed....
Mama and I -
Exchanged our LOVE

Healing can and does come to us - in unexpected ways -  even from behind our silent prison walls. God specializes in high walls and prison doors. If the Lord is speaking to you today....open your heart and unfold your hand. He longs to fill you with 'more than enough' to break you out of those self imposed prison walls. 

It's breakout time! 

Freedom awaits you on the outside!  

Even in death...Healing knocks at our front door.  

 May the healing power

of the The Kissing Hand 

rest upon you today! 

In His LOVE ...

We are made complete.

 

Prayerfully submitted,
Patrina...
His Warrior Bride in Boots


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