Write My Answer On A Billboard Large And Clear

~ I'll climb to the lookout tower and scan the horizon.
I'll wait to see what God says ~ Habakkuk 2:1-2

Feb 8, 2014

A Longing...Un-Quieted

As the deer pants for the water brooks, 
So my soul pants for You, O God.  
My soul thirsts for God, 
for the living God; 
When shall I come 
and appear before God?
Psalm 42:1-2

My soul yearns, even faints, 
for the courts of the LORD; 
my heart and my flesh 
cry out for the living God. 
Psalm 84:2

My soul is consumed 
with longing 
for your laws at all times....
I open my mouth and pant, 
longing for your commands. 
Psalm 119:20,131

I will earnestly seek you. 
My soul thirsts for you. 
My flesh longs for you; 
 I cling to you; 
Psalm. 63:1, 8

My soul longs for the Lord 
more than watchmen 
long for the morning; 
Psalm 130:6

My hands are stretched out to you: 
my soul is turned to you,
 like a land in need of water. 
Psalm 143:6



These are the heart renderings of a soul who craved fellowship with his Maker, and in response, God granted David his desire. We are defined by our desires. Our cravings expose our heart. So does our dissatisfaction. 

In Quietness and Confidence...
The Holy Spirit of God 
gently exposes my Heart.

I’ve cried a million tear drops in the past 2 days.  One by one they roll off my cheeks until I wipe them away.  They return with a vengeance…I choke them back behind the curtain….they suffocate my breath away. 

It doesn’t matter what I try to set my mind to.  Reading scripture, listening to anointed teaching from God’s Word, writing…to bring what’s hidden out into the open.

Right now, I’m listening to Greg Buchanan’s anointed harp music. Actually, it’s the only music I play in my house…it is the first thing I turn on in the morning. Always – for the past 6 years! I never tire of it. But these last two days…I am absorbing it! It feeds my spirit and settles into the vacant corners …untouched by human hands. Every high and vigorous note memorized. I KNOW all the songs by heart …they hook into a familiar place in my soul…learned many yesteryear's ago. 

And yet…this stirring …this shifting ….in my soul - will not be quieted. It continues to push its way upward…from the depths of my spirit… to find an outward expression….as is evidence of these relentless tears. 

There is no fear in this expressive journey.  And it is most definitely a journey; A journey of wholeness; A journey of quietness and confidence that compels me….draws me…calls me heavenward. A yearning journey for Home …over-comes me at times. 

I shift my earthly view towards heaven...frequently. It is that longing for ‘oneness’ that draws my spiritual eyes heavenward. It is His created 'need' in us, is it not - to yearn for the wholeness of His spiritual sunshine; To walk in the coolness of the day with Him…in His created garden of plenty and fruitfulness; To bask in the warmth of His Love; To dream of our heavenly home; To yearn for His promised return; To lay aside all earthly failures and frailties; To come into the Holy Presence of the Lord…in the Kingdom of Heaven; To live and reign with Him for eternity!  


Those who do not understand…cannot understand…think that I’m not living in God’s appointed time for me...in the here and now.  I’m not here to debate their lack of understanding or my longing to be in the physical presence of my Lord. For me... it is a longing that simply cannot be quieted…this side of heaven. There simply is no debate. 


IN HEAVEN... there will be…

No Tears

No Sorrow of any kind

No Longing to belong 
or any other Longing

No Hate; Malice or Violence

No Racial Prejudices 
or Divisions

No Compulsion to Win; 
Attain; Acquire; Climb

No Want or Needs…
they’ll all be met

No Homelessness – 
we’ll have our 
personally prepared mansion

No Barrenness or Lack of any kind

No Sickness; Disease; or Pain – 
we will finally walk 
in our healing

No Political Parties – 
we’ll all serve the KING of all Kings…
in one accord

No Lies; Manipulation; 
Hidden Agendas; 
Deception or Maliciousness 

No War; Murder; Abortion 
or any other Death

No More Spilled Blood!

No Religious Spirit 
or any other Demonic Spirit

No Spiritual Divisions 
or Denominations – 
we will all worship 
the KING of all Kings 
with One Voice

No Brain Washing; 
Mind Control 
or any other Control

.......Need I go any further?......

IN HEAVEN....there will be…


The likes of which no one 
can experience this side of Heaven. 


My soul longs for Thee O Lord.
In quietness and Confidence,
I rest in the assurance
of YOUR Promised


For the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, has said:
" You will be delivered by returning and resting; 
your strength will lie in quiet confidence. 
But you are not willing." 
Isaiah 30:15

Then justice will dwell in the wilderness 
And righteousness will abide in the fertile field. 
And the work of righteousness 
will be peace, 
And the service of righteousness, 
quietness and confidence forever.  
Then my people will live 
in a peaceful habitation, 
And in secure dwellings 
and in undisturbed resting places;…
Isaiah 32:16-18

UPDATE - 2/11/14

Picking up one of my favorite devotionals today... by Rick Renner... I was reminded of the treasure that came with the gift. My daughter ordered this 'Sparkling Gems from the Greek' on March 8th 2010. No reason other than to tell me that she loved me! It was a surprise and a JOY when I opened it. She had it mailed to me...on the same day that she mailed me a card with this copied devotion by Charles Spurgeon...from 'At the Masters Feet'.

More special than the thot...
than the gift...
was her hand written words 
at the bottom of Charles' words....

Yup Yup Yup
What  a  Blessing You  Are  to  Me !'

 7 beautiful words
every mama longs to hear.
Sometimes, we need to hear it! 
Sometimes we need to say it!
Sometimes we just need to know...
that our lives are a living Blessing.

I received this treasured note 
4 years ago...
and her mama 
is still gazing into Heaven.

The scripture that Rev. Spurgeon quoted 
was from Matt 6:19-21.
Interesting that this scripture  did not come up 
in my thot process of Heaven. 
My thots were focused on 
this deep longing 
that would not be quieted. 
After reading Spurgeon's words again...
I understood more - 
the WHY.... 
of my LONGING. 

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, 
where moth and rust destroy, 
and where thieves break in and steal.  
“But store up for yourselves 
treasures in heaven, 
where neither moth nor rust destroys, 
and where thieves 
do not break in or steal;
for where your treasure is, 
there your heart will be also. 

Spurgeon writes...

Do you ever feel this onward impulse
of something you do not understand,
which impels you to have 
fellowship with God
beyond the skies?

Oh! if this be so,
rests assured that it is Christ who draws.
There is a link between you and Heaven,
and Christ is drawing that link
and lifting your soul forward toward himself.
If your heart is here below,
then your treasure is here;
but if your heart is up there...
if your brightest hopes,
your fondest wishes...
be in the heavenly places - 
your treasure is manifestly there,
and the title deed of that treasure
will be found in the eternal purpose of God,
whereby He ordained you unto Himself
that you might show forth His praise.

O the JOY that awaits us 
in God's Kingdom

But I admit
I have a few of them down here as well.
My Children and their spouses,
their children...my grandchildren...
are all Special Gems indeed!

May we make that dashing entrance
into Heaven together.
Side by side as FAMILY...
Together Forever
with our Lord and King!

May It Be So!

UPDATE 2/17/14

 After posting the first update...
I read this Sweet Dreams Devotional for 2/15/14
It was so encouraging I wanted to include it here as well.

Home Sweet Home

Do you ever feel less than totally satisfied, 
even in the comfort of your own home? 
Do you long in your heart for something more?

Your initial reaction to me might be, 
"Of course not, the Lord has blessed me 
with a lovely home and a happy family. 
How could I help but be totally satisfied?" 

But yet, deep within your heart, 
you recognize a restlessness in your spirit.

Don't feel guilty. 
It doesn't mean you are not 
properly grateful to your 
Heavenly Father for His blessings. 

On the contrary, 
it is more likely indicative of 
your eternal hope and trust in Him.
Those of us who believe implicitly 
in His Word cannot help but long, 
no matter how pleasant 
our earthly home may be, 
for the eternal heavenly home 
Jesus has promised us:

"There are many homes up there 
where my Father lives, 
and I am going to prepare them 
for your coming. 
When everything is ready, 
then I will come and get you, 
so that you can always 
be with me where I am..." 
(John 14:2-3, TLB).

Who can resist such a beautiful invitation? 
Who wouldn't look forward 
to the chance to share an eternity 
in the perfection of a home with the Lord?
It is a sure sign 
of surrender of our lives 
to our Lord that we wait, 
not always patiently, 
for the Lord to take us home with Him. 

We really wouldn't want it 
any other way, would we?

Let's Pray Together… 

Dear Father, 
while I am grateful 
for the earthly home 
You have provided me, 
I come before You tonight 
confessing a longing in my heart 
for the eternal heavenly home 
You have promised. 

Thank you 
that I can sleep peacefully tonight, Lord, 
assured of a place of perfection 
which will satisfy my every longing. 
In Jesus' Name, Amen.

~  Cerullo


  1. "Father, as to those whom thou hast given me, I desire that where I am they also may be with me, that they may behold my glory which thou hast given me, for thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world" John 17 24. That is His desire!
    We well can wait! Thou waitest yet
    The word of that dread hour,
    Which shall Thy foes for ever set
    As footstool of Thy power.

    1. David...I always appreciate that you can respond with appropriate scripture and/or prose...to enhance my thinking and speak health to my body and strength to my bones!

      That is indeed His desire...is it any wonder then...why we who know His love...would long to be in His physical presence...

      David was a man fashioned after the Father's own heart...a man who longed to be with His God...its a two-way relationship. Doesn't matter where we are on the road of life...he meets us where we are! and never leaves us.

      Still, Like Brenda shares below...I dream and dream of Heaven!

      Blessings, David...thanks for always picking up the pencil...God bless you for His words in you!

      Patrina <")>><

  2. Only those who truly loves and follows the Lord will be able to understand...Our faith is for us to utilize here. And the "sight" reserved in His Kingdom. What hope we have because of His grace...That's a beautiful pic but I know not comparable to what lies ahead. Blessings to you sister. God bless.

    1. Our faith is for the here and now....'sight' is reserved for when we're with Him..in His Kingdom. TRUE!

      The Lord's redeeming back to me many things the enemy has stolen ...in my lifetime. Its a season of healing. Its almost without heart pain...more like a simple laser that makes a small incision and just lifts the scar tissue to the surface for me to see and say..'redeem it, Lord'...and just like that its gone!

      As I stay logged into His healing season...He continues to whisper forgotten traumas that have settled in my body. All He has to do is shine His laser on the former pain or offense...I recognize it and give it to Him to be restored...redeemed. I can't even name them now!

      It is in healing seasons like this...that I long more and more...to be absent from the body and present with the LORD. I long for my 'sight' to finally be clear...and all the grey fuzziness of this earthly existence....to be gone ....forever.

      God bless you, RCUBEs...and your ministry with Him. praying for you often.

      patrina <")>><

  3. On 10/12/2011, Psalm 63 was given to me as a word of revelation in my dreams.....it was the period I was seeking the face of GOD over a matter.......the words......'My whole being desires You...........my soul thirst for You......let me see You in the sanctuary.....let me see how mighty and glorious You are........' And HE did!
    Every day, I pray for spiritual up liftment and discernment......to know HIM better......that is why shifts and rifts would continue to occur in my life until I get to the place HE wants me to be with HIM.....like refining silver in the furnace.........I pray for the favour to understand when and where HE is working in my life and not be complaining or nagging or bitter. Amen.

    1. The Lord is so faithful, isn't He? He loves for us to come to Him all empty and ready to be filled up to the brim with Him. In our weakness we are made strong. The Joy of the Lord is our strength.

      I pray for His favor over you and your entire family as you muster the courage every day to walk as Jesus walked in the difficult times we live in. May you discern His healing touch. Allow His laser to penetrate the layers ... and expose anything that needs restored ... redeemed back to you ... as God intentioned from the beginning. Amen!

      Blessings to you SM and thanks for always picking up the pencil. Hugs

      Patrina <")><

  4. We are in this world but not of this world, and while we are here the most important thing is to do what our God wants us to do. There is not an hour goes by that I do not have my Lord in my mind, from the time I awake to the time I go to sleep, and the verses you have put at the beginning of your post are my thoughts too, and I have always felt my life in this world is like a dream after experiencing my 'near death experience'.

    1. 'There is not an hour goes by that I do not have my Lord in my mind, from the time I awake to the time I go to sleep,...'

      ditto, Brenda!

      I've never experienced a near death experience. When you say ...'I have always felt my life in this world is like a dream..' Not sure of your exact meaning ... living out what He showed you...or as in no way comparing to what He showed you. I would like to hear more about this. Maybe you can write a post about that. I would be interested

      I often feel as if my life is a dream too. ..but probably not for the same reasons as you.

      Thanks so much for always visiting, Brenda. I appreciate your wisdom. I learn so much from your sharing at your place and in the comments here. God has seasoned you to be His mouthpiece. I love to hear the words He has placed with you.

      blessings and prayers
      patrina <")>><

  5. Hello Patrina, I want to first thank you for visiting my blog and leaving such wonderful encouraging comments. I enjoyed reading this post you shared. Whenever I read in Psalm where David is talking about his soul longing for God and His commandments, it really makes me examine myself. David had such a hunger for God and I wonder if I have the same. I know I long to please God and to do all things that will give Him the glory, but many times I feel like I'm not doing a very good job, and when I read some of David's Psalm's specifically the ones where he talks about longing for God and desiring God a whole lot, just through reading his words I can feel his genuine hunger, his genuine longing for God. I wonder about me, if I am truly as desirous for the things of the Kingdom as I ought to be.

    Great post Patrina, I especially love the little doves you have on your page, I like doves too, I don't know if I ever saw one in real life, but in pictures they look really pretty. :-)

    1. Greetings SK....thank you so much for picking up the pencil.

      I want to say to you that this longing...may come with age :) I'm getting old! It may come with maturing in my walk...in growing towards God and accepting His unfathomable Love. I've been a christian as long as I can remember. I came to Love Him a very early age. I was born into a christian family and I was raised in the church...daddy was a country pastor.

      So...I've had an entire lifetime to allow the Heavenly Gardener to weed out my garden. I'm a gardener too ...so I respect His pruning and I love His tender care. I understand that the enrichment He adds to my soil can mean only good things will spring forth. Harvest will be assured. It will not return void to Him. Being a gardener myself...I do understand these principles. So when He uproots me to plant me elsewhere or to enlarge my territory or to enhance my view...or whatever...I know that they are not only for my good...but for those He plants around me. I know this!

      Like you, I long to be the best I can be...an instrument for His Glory! I too feel I fail miserably sometimes. But the truth is...He is never disappointed in us or offended by our sin. He is offended that sin ever entered His creation. He is offended by sin...not people.

      I heard a sermon Sunday that was about God's most beautiful creation...You and me. I didn't believe it until I heard his entire message...and I was then able to recite with the congregation those words...'I am God's most beautiful creation' I'm going to attempt to put in up as a post...cause I painfully transcribed it word for word...so I could pour it like oil over me. I think you would enjoy it just as much as I.

      Once you get how WIDE and HIGH and LONG and DEEP the Father's love is for you and me...you too will long for Heaven.

      So, don't be so hard on yourself...God is not finished with us yet! And remember, we were created in the image of God! Keep looking for His Glory...His fathomless Love looking back at you ...when you seek to see His face.

      You are not a disappointment to God!!

      Blessings SK and may you feel His billows of Love sweep over you in a powerful way.

      patrina <:)>><

    2. Thank you Patrina your words are very encouraging.

  6. the harp music is heavenly - yes it must be the music of heaven that is why younever get tired of listening to it. ANd the words you wrote here resonate in my heart as well. Because the theme of heaven is also the theme of my life. We are weary sojourners longing for home. THis earth is not our home, there is a disquiet inside because I am surrounded by distractions, and I am asking God often to help me focused on His purposes for me. The two passages you shared at the end of your post are among my top favorites... Isaiah 30, and Isaiah 32. Blessings, dear friend. Thank you for what you shared here. With my heart still sore from grieving the death of my beloved pet, I cling to God for comfort. Your post is like a healing balm...

    1. Lidi dear...
      yes yes! it must be the music of heaven...

      I was allowed to sing in the spirit one time...back in 2001..kneeling in my grandsons bedroom. The Lord had given me a word straight from scripture. I had the Bible laid open before me...and He quickened my spirit with His words. He was calling me...He was prophesying to me. I know you understand this.

      I stopped reading and said to the Lord..."but Lord, I am only me...just one little person!' and He told me to turn the page. I did and the first words I saw was......."Abraham was only ONE when I called him and when I blessed him, he became a great nation."


      It was at this precise point that this sweet sweet melody came bellowing out of my spirit and filled the space around me. It was the most awesome sound I had ever heard then...or since. Heavenly music! I knew it came from the throne room of Heaven. It reminds me of Greg's Harp music. That may be one reason I never tire of it! It remind me of the music God birthed in me in my grandson's bedroom that day.

      I have to tell you...I long to hear it again. I long for that sound to be manifested into my atmosphere in the here and now...but it was only released that one time...thus...Greg's anointed music is my best substitute for the real thing.

      HEAVEN and the sweetness of it pure JOY! will fill the air...with unending praise and the sweet sweet melody of HOME!

      May the peace and comfort which comes from knowing Him...quiet you with the confidence that your beloved 'Patches' is with her beloved Ernie. RESTORED! I pray you can let the comforter melt with you in your sorrow ...I do suggest more of Greg's music. He has an awesome testimony out there as well. God recused him and taught him the harp. I've watched him grow gray :)

      hugs and prayers dear friend
      Patrina <")>><

  7. Then my people will live
    in a peaceful habitation,
    And in secure dwellings
    and in undisturbed resting places;…

    Love those words Patrina.

    I am here again, leaving a response from my other blog. Beautiful beautiful post you have done. It speaks deeply to my heart.

    Lidia (Crown of Beauty)

    1. I have always loved those beautiful words too, Lidi...especially after the upheaval of divorce and unplantedness...the many moves and 'new beginings' ... trying to find HOME.again....a safeness ...a belonging.

      hummm maybe that's why I long for my eternal home...with Jesus...lover of my soul.

      Could be!

      I am so blessed to hear that my longing for heaven was such a blessing to YOU!! yeah God!

      Hugs again, my dear friend
      patrina <")>><

  8. UPDATE 2/11/14

    For those who follow comments... The Lord did an update for me this morning...I just found it such a blessing that I had to include it in this post. You can find it at the bottom of the original.

    Blessings to all who have visited this post and for not chiding me for longing to be HOME!

    hugs to all of you! in Jesus name..
    though I've never met a single reader of my blog...I feel I know you and I appreciate that you have allowed me to know you through you sharing and your comments here and at your place. We are community! Sparkling Gems... If we never see one another this side of heaven...rest assured...I'll be looking for you at that great home-coming in the sky!

    patrina <")>><

  9. another update :) Home Sweet Home....scroll to the end of this post.



Thanks for picking up the pencil...

May the grace
of the Lord Jesus Christ,
and the love of God,
and the fellowship
of the Holy Spirit ...
be with you all.

His Warrior Bride in Boots

"HEAR The Word of The Lord"


Prayer Changes Things

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” ..... Romans 12:12





He is the LORD, The 'I AM' over our yesterdays ~ our today ~ our tomorrow

Elohim: The All-Powerful Creator

Jehovah: The Self-Revealing One

Adonai: The Owner of All

Jehovah-Jireh: The Lord Who Provides

El Shaddai: The Almighty Sufficient One

El Elion: The Most High Ruler

Jehovah Nissi: The Lord’s Banner of Victory

Jehovah Shalom: The Lord Our Peace

Jehovah Mekadesh: The Lord Who Sanctifies

Jehovah Rophe: The Lord Who Heals

Jehovah Tsikenu: The Lord My Righteousness

Jehovah Robi: The Lord My Shepherd

Immanuel: God With Us